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The Quest of the
Gwidgy-gwee
By Joseph Thomas 1840
- 1894.
A Sage Professor came into the west,
From Oxford Town came he,
A man of fame, with a tail to his
name
Of M.A., LL.D.
He sought, 'mongst things that creep
on land,
'Mongst things that fly in the air,
'Mongst things that be in the deep
salt sea,
All Creatures strange and rare.
He Wandered far, and he wander'd
long,
Till he found in that western land,
A strange old man, who sadly gazed
On something in his hand.
"Now what hast thou found, thou
strange old man?
Now what has thou there?" said
he;
He turned not his eye, has he made
reply,
"Tis nought but a gwidgy-gwee."
"And When didst thou find that
curious thing?
I pray thee answer me."
"Twas down between the hepse and
the durns
I got that gwidgy-gwee."
The Professor could speak French,
Latin and Greek,
Dutch, Hebrew and Chinese,
But he knew not a hepse, and he knew
not a durns,
And he knew not a gwidgy-gwee.
And he could claim to know the name,
Of every curious creature ;
With a glance of the eye he'd
classify
Its every salient feature.
For he knew a dinotherium
From its snout down to its tail ;
He'd construct a magalosaurus,
Nor miss a fin nor scale.
He'd magnify a small microbe
As big as a bumble bee ;
Tho' he knew them all, both great and
small,
He knew not the
gwidgy-gwee.
So he drooped his
eyes, and he bowed his head,
and a sad, shamed man
was he,
For he dared not
acknowledge for the sake of his College
That he knew not a
gwidgy-gwee.
"Pray show me
that wondrous thing
Which thou hast
found?" said he.
He turned his head,
but the man had fled,
The man with the
gwidgy-gwee.
The Professor he took
his staff in hand,
And wandered forth to
see
If he could find that
curious thing,
They call a
gwidgy-gwee.
And whenever he saw a
western hill-
"Is this the 'hepse'?"
asked he;
And whenever a stream,
"Is this the 'durns,'
Where they find the
gwidgy-gwee?
He sought where grew, in
aspect lew,
The skedwith and the
scow,
And he routed the sleepy
hedgy-boar,
And the lively padgypaow.
And on many a bank,
where tall and rank
Midst twinning draylers
free,
The lizamamoo and the
keggas grew
Under the hagglan tree.
He sought where cool in
their reedy pool,
Where yelllow quilkins
found,
And on the land, where
the pillyers stand,
And the Muryans swarm
around,
He sought where the
sides of old Dinsul
Slope to the sunny
south,
Where hollensmoks and
fragrant tags
And britons, were in
bloth.
And in many a haggo,
dark and damp,
Where oft the wild waves
roar;
And he raked the bullies
and croggan shells
From the pollons shore.
He sought, in the
candle-teening time,
When the dark rare-mice
flew out,
And the dumbledories
hummed their song,
As they flew the fields
about.
He the local
antiquarians joined
And they showed him
after tea,
For British huts some
old pigs' crows,
Bur never a gwidgy-gwee.
Weary and long, and vain
was the quest,
And a sad, bent man was
he,
When one dark, cold day,
he met by the bay
The man with the
gwidgy-gwee.
"Now stand thou
still, thou strange old man,-
Move not a step!"
said he,
"For , by my degree
in zoology,
Thou shalt not escape
from me."
"For in peace or
strife, in death or life,
Thou shalt reveal to me,
What is that most
mysterious thing
Thats named a
gwidgy-gwee."
With a swift affrighted
glance around,
The old man whispered
then,
With mouth to ear, that
word of fear-
"Tis nought but a
goozey-gen!"
Moral
My youthful friend to me
attend,
This precept keep in
view :
Don't be led astray by
things that may
to you seem strange and
new.
Remember this fact : tho'
fine names attract,
They don't mean much, do
you see?
For there's many a
common goozey-gen
Disguised as a
gwidgy-gwee.
A
Glossary of the dialect words used in this poem click
here..
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